Smatch Point

Last one, I swear. Match Point is supposed to be Woody Allen's comeback. I call bullshit on that. There's nothing positive about this movie other than that Scarlett Johanssen and Jonathan Rhys Meyers are good-looking. They also happen to be terrible actors. "Maybe if I yell people will think I'm 'in' the part." And I get that Woody Allen has had some unsuccessful relationships. I GET it. Oooh, the bad guy gets away with it? That has NEVER been done before! Maybe in Woody's high-falutin', Aston Martin-driving, leather-chairs-that-are-as-soft-as-a-baby's-ass, champagne-sipping world this kind of shit happens all the time and people think it means they're deep, but just 'cause bro holds a copy of Crime and Punishment at one point doesn't mean he has anything to offer us other than his crooked smile and REALLY nice suits that I would like to own and would hopefully not wear during a poorly-planned murder of my hot-but-annoying-and-pregnant mistress. I would probably just wear that suit to work or to get a drink with my brahs.